Let me study you.
Not just the way you speak or move, but everything in between. The little things you don’t even notice about yourself. The things you’ve never thought to tell anyone because no one has ever asked. But I want to ask. I want to listen, to learn, to remember. You don’t have to do anything. Just sit there, stay still, and give me time to understand the whole of you.
Tell me your favorite singer, the one whose songs have been on repeat to your best and worst days. Let me listen to their music the way you do, with my heart open and my mind quiet. I want to hear every lyric, every note, and understand what it is about their voice that moves you. I won’t just hear it. I’ll try to feel them the way you do, so I can feel the world through your ears.
What are the games you have on your phone, the ones you always talk about with so much excitement? The ones that frustrate you, challenge you, make you laugh? Tell me their names, and I’ll have them in my phone without hesitation. I won’t ask you to teach me. I’ll figure them out myself, just as you did, because I want to experience them through your eyes. And when we can finally play together, it must be fun to share the thrill, the tension, the victories, and the losses.
You once told me about a dish your mom makes, the one that reminds you of home. You described the taste, the warmth, the comfort it brings you. I’ve never heard of it before, but that doesn’t matter. I want to learn how to cook it, not to impress you, but to see the look on your face when you take that first bite. I want to know if it still brings you the same comfort, even if the hands that made it this time were mine. The taste may be slightly different, but the love behind it will be just as familiar.
Tell me about the scents that make you feel safe. The ones that remind you of home, of childhood, of love. Is it the earthy smell of rain on warm pavement? The scent of freshly brewed tea that reminds you of quiet mornings? Or the candles your father used to light every evening that filling the house with a comforting glow? I want to memorize it, to find ways to bring it back to you when you need it most. Even when you’re far from home, I can make you feel like you’re right where you belong.
What’s the movie you’ve watched more times than you can count? The one that feels like a part of you? I don’t just want to watch it, I want to absorb it. I want to memorize the lines you love, laugh at the scenes that make you laugh, and understand why this story means so much to you. So that when we watch it together and I’ll catch you mouthing the words, I’ll know I’ve come closer to understanding the pieces of you that words alone can’t explain.
Show me the little habits you don’t even realize you have. The way your fingers tap against the table when you’re thinking. The way you hum under your breath when you’re happy. The way you stir your coffee, the exact amount of sugar you like. Let me notice these things, let me memorize them, so that one day, I can make your coffee just the way you love it without asking. In the smallest ways, I just want to make life a little easier, a little warmer for you.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Tell me about the city you dream of, the streets you’d walk, the places you’d visit. Describe the house you’d want. How many rooms, whether you’d have a library, a music studio, a tiny balcony filled with plants. Let me imagine it with you. One day, if fate is kind, I’ll walk those same streets with you. I’ll stand in that house you once pictured and see the dream you shared with me become real.
Where do you go when you need to clear your mind? Is it a rooftop with a view of the city lights that stretch endlessly? A quiet bench in a hidden corner of a park? Or long car rides with no destination wity just music playing and the world passing by? I want to know. So that when life feels heavy, I can take you there. No questions asked, no words needed. Just me beside you, making sure you never have to carry the weight alone.
Tell me the little things that irritate you. Is it the ticking of a clock, people talking over you, someone stealing food off your plate? I want to know not to avoid them perfectly, but to understand you better. To love you in the way that makes you feel the most at ease. So that I am capable to knowing you well enough that you never have to explain yourself.
Let me study you. Let me take my time learning every part of you, the obvious, the hidden, the small details most people overlook. Let me memorize what makes you laugh, what makes you pause, what makes you feel like yourself.
Because, you know, I’ve come to realized that love isn’t just about saying the right words. For me, now, love is all about understanding someone so deeply that they never have to ask for the things that make them happy.
And if learning you takes a lifetime, I will spend every day paying attention.
