A letter to younger me
Hey.
I don’t know where to begin, but just so you know, the bag full of books you used to carry during those twelve years of school was actually the lightest burden that has ever been placed on your shoulders. Now, we carry smaller bags, and they aren’t even full of stuff — only the essentials, sometimes just a single book. Yet, I can’t quite comprehend how life weighs us down with so much more to carry. Not just on our shoulders, but also on our hearts and minds. The simple worries of finishing homework and passing tests have evolved into a complex series of responsibilities and pressures that never seem to ease.
Hey.
You used to enjoy lunch while watching television after school, thinking about taking a nap and skipping your afternoon course so you could have more time to rest. Those afternoons were filled with a comforting routine, a sense of safety and predictability. Now, after finishing school, we spend a lot of moments at home and have plenty of time to sleep. But somehow, sleep no longer seems enough to rest ourselves. It’s not just sleep we need anymore to rest, but a desire to disappear from the overwhelming demands of reality. The fatigue we feel now isn’t just physical, it’s emotional and mental exhaustion that no amount of sleep can seem to cure.
Hey.
Do you remember the days when the only thing you were afraid of was having to finish your homework before playing? The simplicity of those fears seems almost laughable now. But now, everything scares us, even the thought of opening our eyes in the morning and facing tomorrow. Because the truth is, life is so much more complicated and harsh than we ever imagined. Every day comes with its own set of challenges, uncertainties, and anxieties. The future that once seemed so bright and full of promise now feels uncertain and daunting.
Hey.
You always wanted to grow up quickly, thinking that being a child was frustrating because you had to listen to your parents all the time — while being an adult meant being free. But what you need to know is that adulthood comes at the cost of loneliness. Being an adult is not as fun as you once thought. Now that we’ve reached adulthood, we have so many responsibilities and must face the consequences of the paths we choose. The freedom we longed for comes with its own chains — decisions, bills, deadlines, and the constant pressure to succeed. Now, we often lie awake before sleep, wishing we could go back to being children who knew nothing but playing and taking naps, wishing we could stay ten years old forever, wishing, wishing, wishing.
Hey.
You used to have so many dreams and constantly changing. One moment you wanted to be a doctor, a few days later, you said you wanted to be a flight attendant. You were someone who dared to dream. Your dreams were as high as the sky, and you were so optimistic about achieving them. You believed that anything was possible if you set your mind to it. You might pity the person I am now because I’m no longer someone who dares to dream. For me, surviving through the day is an achievement in itself. Now, dreams feel so frightening because the reality of the world isn’t kind to people with lofty dreams. The obstacles and setbacks we face can be disheartening, and it’s easy to lose sight of those big dreams when we’re just trying to make it through each day. If you asked me what my dream is now, I might just stare blankly. Because I don’t know. I have no clear vision of the life I want, other than a life that is peaceful and sufficient.
But hey…
No matter the reality we face now, I hope you’re still proud of me for bravely facing each day despite the desire to end it all.
Maybe we will achieve everything you dreamed of when you were little. Not now, but perhaps in a few years. The journey is long and often arduous, but you know, I haven’t given up entirely. Deep down, there’s still a little hope that I have, a small part of me that believes we can still reach for the stars.
I promise you will get everything you ever wanted as a child. I will keep fighting, keep pushing forward, and keep believing that there’s a brighter future ahead.
Because you deserve to see those dreams come true, and I owe it to you — and to myself — to keep striving for a life that brings joy, fulfillment, and peace.
With all my love and hope for the future,
Your 22-year-old self.
Notes: been a while… if you love this post let me know by clapping it 50 times! ;)
